Goodbye to 2012

Oh 2012, you were as they say the best of times & the worst of times! But that is life.  I don’t think I would want to live in the light non-stop.  We have to have the dark mixed in to rest, recharge & appreciate.  2012 certainly has given me a depth of experiences that I never expected.  2013 promises to be even bigger.

Looking back…

JANUARY

Seemed I was fighting off a sinus & ear infections for most of January.  Which brought me to FINALLY go to the doctor & get some antibiotics for the first time in years!  Derailed my resolutions, one being 100 Days of exercising each day.  I had a ton of Resolutions & had a lot of hope for 2012.  Can’t stay I kept that enthusiasm through the whole year, but it certainly surprised me.

FEBRUARY

February didn’t seem to feel much better than January even if physically I was much better.  Learned my job at the time was not the one for me and got my hopes up for a too good to be true beach house…. or any house.  I needed CHANGE.  Started really looking inside to figure out what I wanted.

MARCH

March I struggled to find more of something to make me happier.  Spent time going on a few dates, visited with the family, baked.  Work still wasn’t lighting me up inside, but I had fun while I was there!

Discovered the fun of eye bombing!  Which has since become a habit.  Makes me smile.  Makes others smile.  How can it be wrong?

APRIL

April found me bruised.  Luckily it was doing something I LOVED – Pole dancing fitness classes!  Working out & learning to swing & climb like a monkey was just what I needed, even if only once a week.  The bruises were less than sexy, but it was a blast.

Also I left the job that was killing me.  I trusted luck and just let go.  Discovered it was okay to embrace change.  Wishing it hadn’t taken so long & perhaps would have been easier on all involved, but in the end I don’t regret the decision.  Human resources is great, but I grew tired of the high pace & sadness of trying to find perfect people for temporary positions when none of us are ever really perfect.  Learned more about people than I wanted to know, in & out of the office, and found myself becoming bitter.  Seeing the less than great side of people without also finding the beauty is a cry for change & I followed the call.

MAY

Oh May!  May was alive with promise & hope again.  Excitement and energy left and right.  Got a new laptop to replace mine that had died.  Discovered that paralegal classes were a great fit & enrolled in my first law classes (Family Law & Administrative Law).  Loved every class!  Met someone new while getting back into a favorite hobby – photography & felt more me than I had all year.

….and I feel back in love with the beach.  The reason I moved to this town had been neglected for far too long.  I spent a LOT of time in the sand.  Morning, day, night – anytime I could get there was a great time to be there.  Without work, it was easy to wander the coast for hours reconnecting with nature & myself.

Had  a blast exploring life & even playing every chance I got.  Including adding Lil Chewy photos as I went along the way.  Anything to make a girl giggle!  Why not? Life is way too short not to.

JUNE

June felt fabulous.  I played tourist all over the state.  I took time to relax.  I ENJOYED living my life.  Finances were tight (still are) but what college student doesn’t get by on bare bones.  Basics.  Just the basics are needed.

and some love.  Which I found in family, friends, Baxter & the parrots as well as a couple of new faces.  Like cuteness incarnate… Snips.

Oh Snips.  The lil purr monkey never fails to find a way to calm my heart.  Even though times didn’t turn out the way I thought they would, I have never stopped caring for this cat.  She is just the coolest.  What else could make a great summer even better than seemingly unlimited beach time and playing with a growing kitten as she discovers the world? Just precious.

JULY

Sometimes I felt like my world was hanging by a string, but I learned to let life flow.  Things work out as they should.  You do what you can, but you also have to learn to make what you have work.  So I did.  Lots more free exploration of life & stumbling on some of the sites I missed rushing through each week working 9 to 5 & then some.  Still no full time job, but I was all over school.  Enjoyed registering for Fall classses and finishing up the first session.  Felt real.  Felt good.  Felt like where I should be.  Truly bless with so much joy.

Joy & studying… on the beach.  Right where I should be.

AUGUST

Started the second semester & first normal full time one!  Still loving all my classes and discovering how the legal system works.  I went looking for a more black and white cut and dry line of work thinking that the order would prove to be a fair and equal way.  After diving into it all I learned there is more grey and flexibility than I had thought & that in the versatility lies the beauty in the system.  The rules were rules, but only because we make them so.  We mold our lives and world into what we believe it should be.  Only through agreement do we all live happily ever after.

Also thanks to Pinterest influences, I probably caused my entire family to gain 5 pounds in one weekend.  The pakie (iced cake on a cookie in a pie shell) was introduced to the family and it was decided that we love it, but needed to restrict our love to just once (maybe twice) a year!

Then the fun came…. Panthers Fan Fest which heralded the start of the season!

The downside was ending a relationship I had grown to love but realize wasn’t working out.  For my own sanity I needed to end that chapter.

SEPTEMBER

I found ways to keep smiling no matter where I went.  Sure there were sad times and hard times, but perspective is everything.

Seeing a premier of the locally filmed new NBC series, Revolution, before it was shown on TV and hearing the actors talk about their experiences was a highlight!

Plus more time with the books in the sand.  The ocean really does make everything better.

OCTOBER

The new experiences didn’t end in the summer.  News that a local serviceman had paid the ultimate price and that some seriously sick people planned to use his funeral as a political statement brought people together to take a stand.  We lined the streets the day of the service, ready to block any drama but mostly to thank the family & everyone who serves for everything they do.  Especially hit close having a friend just ending his year deployment and hearing the horrors so many faced daily.  My heart warmed to see so many sharing in the passion of gratitude and I think I feel even further in love with the area of the world I live in.  Although there are days I complain, I am lucky to have the chance to complain and each day am blessed with a new day to embrace.

Life is just way to precious to not appreciate, even if it is so easy to take it for granted.  Baxter & I traveled to visit family more and more.  Time is limited and should be treasured with those you love while you can.

While mistakes are made, learning and forgiveness are healers.

Opened up to revisiting relationships and better defining how to be happy and healthy.  I was hesitant but finding someone you connect with can be so hard.  When you do find kindred spirits, it can be worth giving them another shot.

Also… the beach.  Did I mention that I love the ocean?  Never ceases to amaze me.  Discovering treasures I never took the time to see before.  Like the biggest shark tooth I had ever found!

NOVEMBER

All good things must come to an end and November found me bidding adieu to my catering position.  The beautiful moments and places, the decadent food, the killer workouts are missed already.

Spending more time with my family continued while the weather got cooler.  May not have been able to make it to a Panthers game this year, but my Sister & Brother in Law were nice enough to treat me to a Checkers Hockey game.

Was great, but yes I still prefer the touch down dances to the goalie being scored on.  Branching out to do something different certainly has advantages.  Always open to new experiences.  This year certainly proved quite a few.  Changes to the family grew more and more obvious and letting go becomes harder and harder.

DECEMBER

December brought intensity & less beach time.

but it also FINALLY brought me a more reliable and better suited for me phone! Thanks to a certain someone who seems to get me more and more as the year goes along.

Baxter and I traveled more, but no longer to new places.  Just to see family.

We continue to adapt to taking care of Mom and planning for what will be.  This is bringing us all closer and together we are going to make the best of it.  A close call has changed us all forever and we by no means are giving up the fight, but we recognize that it all will end.  In a lot of ways that brings relief, but along with it such pain that I can’t begin to imagine.  Still we are holding on to hope.  Taking care of what we can and spending as much time together while we can.

which brings me to 2013.

Leaving behind so much and looking forward to the changes this year will bring, I realize it is impossible to grasp what it will hold.  More classes, more time spent on the road and thankfully more memories to be made with those I care most about.

What more can we ask for?

CHEERS!  Hoping that 2012 as left you in a better position than it began and that 2013 brings more magic than we can dream of.  Luck, laughter & love to us all.

Whatever will be, I will embrace.