Out of Thin Air

As much as a 3 day week sounds blissful, I’m starting to see the downsides.  Four days off are nothing to complain about, but reality is the 3 days I am in school and trying to get everything done are intense.  Add in trying to date and have a life and its the perfect storm for needing those 4 recovery days.  At least when they are weeks like this one.

Working? um… why would I? to pay bills? Ha!  That implies there are actually jobs available that will be flexible enough to work with school schedules! Right. Not in this area lately.

Sure I could go for the Do You Want Fries With That option I guess, but I am trying to avoid the Freshman Fifteen this go around (does a 2 year associates even have a Freshman year?) and in all reality the minimum wage for busting my ass route is just going to leave me with no energy to study anything.  So what’s the point? I’d flunk out anyway.

Thought that Grants & Scholarships would be extremely helpful this go around since the first time I did college I didn’t go for any at all.  I was extremely lucky in that my grandparents & parents did some serious sacrificing and planning to put me through starting the day I was born.  So since I haven’t even used assistance before, why not now right? WRONG.  No longer eligible.

here have some cash… just kidding!

The grant I got – turns out someone in Financial Aid is a moron.  They gave me money yet some how are now saying I didn’t qualify for it.  So they took it back.  Why don’t I qualify? bad grades? shady past? criminal records? blue eye shadow?  Nope.  Simply because I have a degree.  A degree I was honest about from the get go in applying to school.

So now I owe several hundred dollars which they let me use at the bookstore for this now imaginary grant.  Which has to be repaid before I can register for classes next week.  Not sure how many people who aren’t working actually have that money just laying around without any purpose, but its not this girl.

Everything I have goes to getting by.  Sure I’m not eating ramen every night, but I have cut back on a lot of expenses since starting school.  So much so that I’m frustrated in a lot of ways.  But that is adulthood.  Not very many people do have tons of extra money to just toss.  Its a trade off I am willing to make.  Every purchase matters more now.  If I decide to go get a cup of coffee out, that means I have to cut corners elsewhere.  Its life.

Still I’m at the point where, its starting not to work.

Added unexpected expenses, like the grant I now have to repay along with the tuition for next year, are just not working out.

So stressed? You betcha.

What’s a girl to do?  There are several places hiring for full time.  One side of me says to take a step back and start working again.  School will be there when I can get to it.  Maybe take one night class for the next decade.   Still going full time would mean I am done and working in a job I am going to want to be in, in roughly another year and a half.  IF I can get there.

Student loans? As much as my parents really don’t want me to take on more debt… they are starting to seem like a very real option.  Scary as it may be, the money has to come from somewhere.

Between trying to figure all this out and finalizing a will & end of life paperwork (for class, but still hit me hard emotionally), study for exams, stay up on readings, prepare for a speech (um… got an A even with um… saying um… way more than um… I wanted to!) and doing photowalks, honoring soldiers and staying connected with friends, I AM BEAT.  My brain feels fried.  Deep fried.

Still no stopping now.  It may be my “weekend” but there is laundry to do, bags to pack, roads to travel with family waiting at the end to see.  Oh yeah… & homework. Lots and lots of homework.  With another exam waiting for me at 11 am on Monday.

this is my favorite mug. tends to always be dirty.

Thank goddess for the Keurig & pug snuggles.


Cadbury Creme Kona Kinda Morning

Remember that thought I had yesterday, well today I sacrificed the egg.

all the makings of a great spring morning

But today the egg, went into the cup!

oh egg, I know I should just savor you, but I have to try this... forgive me

then in went the Kona Kcup in to the Keurig…

Coffee People, I have no idea who you are, but I love you so.

brewed right onto the egg in a favorite mug & the aroma is pure decadent bliss.

HIGHLY suggest stirring well


So why a post on candied up coffee?

Because I have barely been away 2 hours and already learned that 2 friends have lost beloved pets over the night.

The first was one I knew & loved.  The second I never met, but know she was adored and pampered.

So quick how life passes.  So take a moment & savor the good stuff.  Enjoy being silly.  As I sit here sipping my cup, pug snuggled up to my side, I have THREE parrots shooting air kisses.  All 3 have joined me after their previous homes didn’t work out for whatever the reason & none came with any kissing.  Through love and caring they have learned to associate that sound as one I will respond back with.  Today they are greeting the new day & me with it.

& Bongo although he has been with me the longest, hasn’t developed this but he also doesn’t make much noise ever…. he is my adventurous explorer.  Go wink at him & he gladly will return the favor, but kissing? He just doesn’t do the noises!

Each moment is such a gift.  So precious.

My deepest sympathies to those who are grieving their loses.  My heart aches but hopes that the moments you shared, as unique as they are, keep them close to your heart & provide some comfort during this time.

Farewell Dolly.

Dolly, the only Citron Cockatoo I've ever known

You were beautiful, rare & adored.  I was lucky to know you.

Pugs & Kisses

Remember how I started the Grilled Chicken Sandwich Challenge?

yeah, I barely do either, but last night I remembered while I was getting take out & thought, why not?

Its a HEART! awww

Course this morning I almost forgot it in the fridge!  Doctoring it up didn’t really happen but I did remember a pack of honey & one of barbeque sauce in my desk.  Less than thrilled? So was I.

However the Lemonade Girl Scout cookies were a nice surprise!

Last night a friend & her daughter were selling them & I knew I HAD to replenish the Thin Mint supply.  Along the with Thin Mints I just asked her to pick me out another box of something yummy.  Lemonades it was.  Typically I never think lemon with cookies and at 1st I almost said “pick a different one!” but it WAS her choice, so I went with it.  I brough the box into work to share in hopes to sweeten the day.  So far its only worked on me, but that’s ok.

In case you want to try them, there is a Girl Scout Cookie finder ap for your iPod available at iTunes! Yes I have to admit I  downloaded it after a friend mentioned.  Or you can check this website for them.

Also a few pieces of things I love today.  Since I pulled a card from a fun “tarot” deck I had at the house.   Not sure why, but it was sitting there on the shelf as I walked by & I thought why not?

the Lovers from the Housewives Tarot

The Lovers card.  I’m partially ignoring the obvious since I’m still on the fence about this whole let Shadow back in my heart or keep moving on searching thing.  Who knows.  Time to think isn’t going to kill anyone…  So focus on this other great love.  Baxter.  The pug adores me.  I adore him.  What more can a gal ask for?

my Baxter

its a mini-Baxter! full of knowledge!

I would love one of these for the bedroom redo!  Hoping that Mod Cloth has them in stock then.  It would look cute on a dresser or shelf up against the sage/mint walls.

because, well he does..

I will gladly take the morning Keurig in one of these… especially if its German Chocolate Cake coffee like this morning! Delish!

muwah! pugs & kisses

Also I love this stuff!  I got one for each member of my family as part of their holiday gifts.  Bonus: It benefits the Pug Rescue Network who use the money to help pugs with medical care, finding homes & all that other stuff that seems to come along the way for pugs.

Sights Ahead

Tonight was bliss.

That’s the best way to describe the date I had with myself. Bliss.

One of the thing I have always wanted to try was having my palm read by someone who knew what they were actually doing.  It was one of the things I regretted not having done sooner in life as I rode to the hospital to have the 1st operation on my hand.  I had spent just over the prior week looking for a palm reader that seemed legit & that I could trust to no avail.  I thought for sure that after the surgery & the scars that followed that it would never be the same or an option to have read.  Like wearing a ring on that finger, I said good bye to that dream.


I took this picture before surgery knowing it might be the last chance to see it before scars. The finger didn't move, but the skin was still together.

Thankfully, like wearing a ring, I was wrong.  It can & has now been done!

Yup check that one off the life list!

Had an amazing experience tonight having my palms read & then two separate sessions with a couple of amazing psychics! Blew my mind how on target they were and how much ahead there is too come. Lots of confirmations and reminders.

So wonderful & one of the things that the palm reader reminded me to do was journal.  She mentioned that I had a lot of stories to tell & I needed to get them out.  I admitted it was something I had gotten into a while back, but other than blogging (which there is a point where my story ends & others’ begin – thus I need to respect their rights & stop) – I hadn’t been journaling over the past few years.

So afterward, after I soaked in all the information, I treated myself to a new journal.

& that crystal on there is the rose quartz, a love stone, that I blindly picked.  Nothing else to say about that here, but very optimistic about my future.

The old adage about good things coming to those who wait, just may be true after all in some aspects of life!

Also I am a tad excited about tomorrow morning!!!

German chocolate cake coffee?? Hellzya! I was tempted to taste tonight, but I knew I would be up all night!  So tomorrow morning it is.

IKEA may be contagious

So while my bedroom project may be on hold (as well as spending any money on anything extra til I can figure out what I am doing in life), I still long to start redecorating & changing.  Yesterday the IKEA catalog came in the mail & I couldn’t help but spend a few moments going through it.

I got up to refill my glass of water & came back to see this….

Course I had to snap a picture!

Baxter seems to approve of IKEA stuff & wants to help pick a few things out.  Shame he can’t he pay for some of it or even be allowed in the store to give his opinion on the options!  Maybe one day.

But not today.

Today is just for enjoying the day.  No alarms or travel mugs, just sleeping late & delicious regular mugs of coffee.

May even get to get out & start the photo scavenger hunt if the rain subsides.  Also have an event tonight that I have been looking forward to since I booked it with a bit of holiday cash a while back.

Going to be able to check off another thing off the life list, but more on all that later.  For now back to the pug snuggles & warm sips.

aw, dang….

So it just dawned on my how many things I have wanted to do for this blog & just haven’t.

Wanted to do the monthly cook book review… haven’t

Wanted to once a week dress up a plain grilled chicken sandwich… haven’t

Wanted to just all around do more.

Instead life happens & this has become a place to get out my feelings & check in.  Plan, reflect, etc.

So I might be all over the place, but at the moment so is my life.

Just had to admit it & rethink.

True be told that grilled chicken sandwich sounds pretty delicious right now.

(I had a cinnamon bagel for lunch… bad lady!)

Looking forward to an incredible weekend with ALL, yes ALL four of my aunts & my mom’s only brother. Everyone is going to be at my mom’s place & I get to join them for the weekend!  Long drive ahead seeing as I already wish I was there to chat, giggle & just enjoy being with some of my favorite family.  We haven’t all been in the same place at the same time in several years.  I feel like I have won the lottery!  Now if we can just check the egos at the door & not have any family drama…. that will be the real trick!

& I will be taking the Keurig!  Yes I am a bit addicted.

Speaking of which I learned the hard way this morning why you never should use a busted K cup! There was a slit in one & I just popped it in anyway.  Coffee grinds all in the coffee, the Keurig & everywhere else! Not fun first thing in the morning, but lesson learned. 

what the french toast?

Yup, its a Golden French Toast sort of morning here.

I realized this morning that the smell of this coffee confuesed me.  I smell it… & I taste it…. & it seems odd.  My smell says I should be eating this.  The feel of drinking the warm liquid thinks its should taste like coffee.  The brain isn’t awake yet so its all messed up.  But alas it is quite delish.