100 less things in..

48 hours?

well.. try 72 hours.

Saturday was just a wash with the late start & the 7 hours spent working. I had big hopes for Sunday. Waking up with sore legs & exhausted didn’t help me feel productive. Sadly the motivation just wasn’t there. BUT today I caught up & threw out a total of 115 things.

Some were slightly surprising. Who on earth hangs on to a STACK of netflix envelopes? How did I even accumulate so many? I remember sending a couple of disc back together, but had no idea I had done that so many times! Trashed.

Course the catalogs full of dreams of a life that just isn’t mine (now at least) were all around. The crazy thing was as sad as I felt tossing them into the recycling bin, thinking: “dang. I will not be ordering that ______ (insert incredibly cool thing you just can’t live without there)!” – I groaned to come home to 2 more in my mail box today! The truth of the matter is I can browse online & in stores. Sure its nice to flip through the pages & just imagine ordering the good stuff, but there will always be updates coming. {Shhh, I kept the IKEA one} My justification used to be that I used the pictures in art projects like collages & pendants. So many bright colors & interesting images. Honestly I just haven’t done that much this past year. So keep the new ones & use them if I can…. or toss them when the next edition arrives.

CLOTHES… I have too many.  I realize this, but I also know I like being able to mix up things.  I have my clothes I work in, my night out stuff, my casual, my at home relaxing & my wish it still fix/wasn’t broken/etc ones.  So I got a bag together to donate of ones I never wear.  Some I’m just over.  Some that have been waiting to be hemmed or have a button fixed, whatever.  Tossed a bikini that I think I wore in high school!  This is certainly going to have to be an area I revisit another time.

So since I ended up not actually tossing the 100 items in 48 hours, I’m vowing to take this challenge again soon! My life could loss a bit more excess. Hopefully on a day I don’t feel stretched so thin.

Thinking I might have to set up a reward next time to motivate me more.  But what?  an object would be counterproductive, so maybe a movie out? Who knows.  But its done.  For now.

& although they don’t count as things I’m getting rid of (maybe they should…) but I had a blast addressing 5 more postcards to send around the world via Postcrossing.  To Finland, Germany, Poland, North Korea & Japan.  The last card I sent went to Belarus!  I haven’t gotten one sent to me yet, but I also just started.

There is some simple joy in just sending a picture, a piece of my world, to give a glimpse of life here.  Can’t wait to see the ones I get & where they come from.  ….I know more stuff coming into the house…  Oops!  But its fun!  Maybe I can make an art project with them? Or just organize them in a cheap photo book!

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Unclutter My World

Everything in my life feels like its changing …yet in many ways is frozen in time.

I have my dreams & frankly sometimes as low key as I see them to be, they just feel completely unattainable. Trying to embrace the spirit of trusting life will take me down the path I should be on.  Still I’m stubborn.

Its like the story by Aesop that talks about the oak and the reeds.  How the reeds bends in the storm unlike the tree that stands rigid & snaps.  I’m not a reed.  Getting blown over as something rolls right over my ass just doesn’t seem to be my nature.

Case in point: relationships – of all types.  As much as I try to be understanding & nurturing in building relationships, deep down I feel like everyone leaves.  All you have is yourself to rely on in life.  People come into our lives and stay for the time that benefits us both & if its time to move on, you have to let go.  Sometimes that is easier to do than others.   Typically when I’m done, I’m done.  Even when I’m not, I would never admit it without a major torture session.  If we are lucky the good people stay in touch & we know that they would be there if they could.

Still at times its hard to feel encouraging of others dreams yet true to your own.  They say there is strength in numbers, but I’ve found you have to be strong on your own to survive.

So why do I hold on to so much stuff?

An article mentioned in a blog recently I read stuck with me.

Like a lot of people, I have more clutter than I need in my life… & house.

This holding on to dreams, has baggage reminding me of what isn’t happening in my life & all the times I miss.

Some reminders are great things.

Others just weigh us down & fill up space in our life.

So today & tomorrow, I am up for the challenge.  100 things will leave my life in 48 hours.

I promise not to list each thing individually (the world does not need to know how many Crate & Barrel catalogs I have laying around dreaming of the perfect home), but I am going to keep track.

Donate, Recycle or Trash

Tomorrow is going to be a big day!  ..today is half over already & I need to leave for work by 4pm  – my first gig helping to serve at a wedding! Please oh please don’t let me ruin this couple’s big day with a case of the klutz.

So hopefully by the end of the weekend my world will feel a bit lighter!

(Thanks for the inspiration Sarah & Cece!)

Ready? Aim. Update!

A while back I set a few targets to aim at.

In the spirit of the Spring Equinox, time to check back in.

Health

According to my psychiatrist, I am doing great mentally!

Physically, well I just keep putting off getting in shape.  How very American of me.  Call it my way of showing patriotism.

I did get health insurance, I think since they deducted the amount in my account to cover the payment, so I will be planning a check up and my annual girly visit soon.  Also am hoping will be giving the treadmill a workout more often this spring.

Money

Certainly not where I was.

Can’t say this is improved, but I am hopeful.

My uncle’s car has sold.  I continue to be able to pay my bills, but the extra money is tight to non-existent at the moment.  Still I don’t feel like I am to the point of selling off body parts to maintain my hobby of eating regularly.

Relationships

Cupid you seriously can be so stupid.

For whatever reason one person continues to stay on the outskirts of my life.  Still unsure why we keep each other at that distance.  Is it we know we would never work out or the deep fear that we would? Who knows.

Still I continue to date.  Met a few guys over the past couple of months, but no one that has gotten past a quick kiss goodnight or friendship status.

Still gaining in closeness with my family & REALLY grateful that we are all able to spend more time together.

Spirituality

The low hum has revved up to a loud chant at a full moon fire side ceremony!

So much more actively growing in this aspect.

Ask & the doors open.

I have connected with so many people that continue to enrich my studies, remind me of what is possible, available & beautiful in life.

Giving

The challenge at the moment is learning to give – without thinking in terms of money.  I am decluttering (365 Days, at least one item per day) but its hard to think of giving outside monetary gifts.

I almost started working at the Red Cross as a volunteer, but at the last moment it didn’t work out with my schedule.  I may still find a way to give some time there or just figure out a way to donate somewhere else.

This needs to be a better focus.

Hobbies

Still struggling to get back into cooking for fun & sewing/quilting, but other than a few moments I just don’t seem to hear the muse when the space & time are there to work.  Same can be said for the pendants. Thankfully I got one to my sister, but haven’t finished many more.  Harder to come up with the design inside the pendant & what to do with the completed ones.

Photography I have decided will always be a hobby & never a career.  I devoted time to the local camera group & adore a few friends I have made through there, but unfortunately I don’t enjoy the events anymore.  Being “in charge” of organizing has taken the fun.  Other participants expect more than just showing up & having fun like we used to.  As the club grows in size, new members seem to want a host for the event & find some strange joy in complaining about various things that happen to go wrong.  I’m over listening to people unload their stresses.   Giving it a bit of time and hoping I can renew my enthusiasm soon.  Til then I am LOVING capturing the sights of life & have my own photo challenge to keep me busy.

Home

So much of this renovation project has been put on hold.  Can’t really see the logic behind spending money on it while not working, yet when I do work, I don’t have time to work on the house.  Still working on clearing out the unneeded, but when it comes to projects…..

Also at a standstill.  Thought it would be great to get some flooring down in the bedroom.  Just a start.  Maybe even get the paint on the walls.  Wouldn’t be too expensive & I could do it while I had time.

My ideas would have been get the IKEA Tundra flooring in white.  I visited IKEA with my family & while I loved the look of it & ease of application, they argued that it looked cheap & wouldn’t last.  …well I am hoping to sell the house within the next decade & move, let the next people decide what floor they love & put it in.  This stuff is a floating floor so it wouldn’t be damaging the concrete flooring underneath.  Seems win win to me.

NOPE.  Just to me.

Everyone else is in love with the look of wood.  I am over it.  Its everywhere.  I want white.  NOT white washed, white.  Not birch or bamboo look, WHITE.  I’m out numbered, even though its my own house! Also they thing we should do the WHOLE HOUSE at one time! Suddenly my bedroom project is becoming a move everything out of the house & find another place to live for a while & let professionals do it for me project.  (Why?)

So tile instead of wood?  I like tile. Have wanted it for my living room for a while – slate in the various colors.  Still outnumbered.  They are open to tile possibly but not the tiles I wanted. Plus I don’t want the dark tiles in the bedroom! Its great for a larger room, but the smaller room needs a lighter look I think.  The suggestion of beige tiles through out was brought up.  Bleh-aysh… I really like beige about as much as having the underwire of my bra poke me all day.  I tolerate it, but would I want to sign up purposely for it? NO!  Tile can be beautiful but can I have something that doesn’t remind me of doctors exam rooms or school cafeterias?

My grandfather made a living laying tile.  If only I had learned the art from him.  I would give the world to have him right now.  He would know exactly what tile would work & probably help me have the two different looks in the two different rooms that are used for two very different reasons.

So… no go on the floors for now.  ….unless I just sneak & do it myself.  Which I may have to in order to avoid the blah of beige or the splinter in my eye of the wood look in a room I do not have any desire to have it in.

On a better note, I may have a bed by June.  A friend is moving & needs to get rid of a queen set so she doesn’t have to haul it from the Atlantic coast to the Pacific!  It will be used, but it will be bigger than this twin Baxter & I cram into nightly now.

Work

Still searching for the holy grail.

A paycheck doing something that I love doing.

Left the job.  No more steady paycheck.  Still open to what life is going to put in front of me to learn from now.

Wish me luck!

Doing things differently

So last night I ended up in bed with a smile on my face by 10 pm.

No big party animal here,  but I slept.  It felt great.  For whatever reason when I woke up at 5:30 am I thought – BEACH!

earlier than I could imagine I would be up & out

Sunrise on the Carolina Coast is one of the most beautiful gifts of life you can view, if you can break away from your daily schedule to catch it!

waking up

I don’t regret it a bit, but I came home with hopes of doing so many things with the advance on the day.  Breakfast at a favorite spot, a home convention, pet gala, take Baxter to the dog park since he loved it last week, maybe even get a start on a few applications I need to get in.  Clean the house, spruce up the bird cages, grocery shop, meet a couple of friends.  It was chilly so when I got back home, I cuddled up under a blanket & hopped on the laptop….

then around 11 am I woke back up!

the day flew right out from under me it seems.

But I did get a few things done around the house, and got in a few applications for a couple of volunteer positions.  When working full time it was just too much to try to volunteer any more than I already was, but it hit me this morning – why not now? Sure there are plenty of things to do around the house & time with family is going to be key while I can get it, but nothing stopping me now.

Thankfully they are quicker about responding than a paying gig, so it looks like I have found a way to give back while I am in transition. Can’t wait!  More details on that to come.

Even managed to venture to a couple of resale shops, but nothing worth seeing there.  Just made me want to take a shower afterward.  Funny how some are so nice & some just gross.  Not kidding one I went in today had a couple of canisters with leftovers in them! One had a clumped line of sugar at the bottom & the other… who knows what that stuff was! Nothing came home from either place! eek! But 2 new places checked out.

Now more applying, less mind wandering & then its off to shower & dinner plans at Pizzetta’s! Which is turned into a new favorite! Can’t wait! Love my Saturdays!

 

Live the Life You Have Imagined

How on earth do I start the next phase in life when I can’t seem to get out from under this one?

Today at work seemed to drag on & on…. just like the bosses seem to be doing with the hiring of my replacement.  I told them I would be flexible with the end date but that by March I wanted to be in Charlotte visiting my family.  No interviews have been scheduled, no training has been done…. and we have one week til March.  Sounds like its going to be either chaos in transition or I won’t be in Charlotte when I had hoped.

Also just when I start actually feeling like maybe I might be more open to a couple of new crush potentials, the old one rears his head.  Yup the Shadow appears again.  Yet again I ask myself, am I moving forward in life or hanging on to the past? Guess only time will tell.  I’m dedicated to listening to my heart but sometimes I’m not sure it knows what it wants.

Ever feel like the world is trying to tell you something & you just don’t even know how to respond? For the past couple of days I seem to see one quote in particular over & over…

“Live the life you have imagined.” I love it.  Why haven’t I picked up on this quote before?

Only after looking more into it do I find the rest… which only makes me fall even more in love with it & realize how much I need it right now!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.  As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

So more assurance this is the path I need to follow.  Let my heart lead & simplify.  Get my life more in order.

Sounds so easy in theory, but I guess that is just life.  Learning to deal with the cards as they come.

Thankfully the next couple of days are going to be filled with a few distractions.  More days dragging on with wrapping up my time at work in this position, then a couple of classes I’m really excited about.  The weekend can bring what it may, for now I’m just going to let it roll.  Have faith that the world will unveil as it should be.


Release

In every house there is one room that tends to provide all with a certain unique sense of comfort.

Today I am extremely grateful for the wonders of the modern world …namely indoor plumbing.

Evidently the stress, lack of real sleep and getting out and about has caught up to me.  So today, I am not feeling my best, but I know life will get better and I am truly lucky not to feel like this everyday.  Maybe its a good thing in that my body will detox.  So yeah… that’s my Pollyanna take on it.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Before all that really hit home, I was enjoying a nice morning.  Got a load of laundry done (still waiting to be folded, but its clean).  Dishes put way, couple of big boxes moved from the den to the old bedroom, a temporary lamp set up for one of the parrots to get some light.  Even got in a shower, trimmed my nails & had a bag at the door ready to be donated of things that I had decluttered.

Yes still making sure that at least one thing per day is leaving my life – 365 Days of Declutter challenge.

It was actually while I was decluttering a stack of mail that had piled up over the past week that I had a moment of panic.  How on earth am I supposed to work on the bedroom, when I don’t have anywhere to put everything in the in between?  I refuse to take on one more bill while I am out of work.  The  goal is to reduce the bills not add another one by getting a storage unit.  The reality hit home that my house isn’t big enough to move everything into another room while it all gets done.  Not and save any ounce of my sanity!

How on earth do people do it?

It would be a lot easier to just let go of stuff if I knew I was going to be able to afford to replace it.  Decluttering the small stuff is easy, but when it comes to real big pieces that no longer fit your life the task is harder.

What am I going to do?

Relax.  Nothing will be resolved today & I am going to be ok about it.  Physically I am not up to doing it, so what I am letting go of today is the fear and the worry.  The planning and doing can happen tomorrow.  I am decluttering the brain. I have a pad & pen & am writing down all the to-dos for when I get around to it.

Oh Look! A round tuit.. now I should do it! ha ha

How much of life is wasted on things we really aren’t ready to worry about?

I know a lot of mine has been.  But time to change.

Which leaves plenty of room to dream….

 

Pug Party & My Saturday Adventure

Today was the first time Baxter & I were able to attend the local pug meet up group!  It was fantastic!

yes that's Baxter right up front coming towards me!

Pugs everywhere!

new friends everywhere!

We took over the dog park – although a few other small dogs stayed around to be honorary pugsters!

Baxter is already ready for next month's meet up... & a nap...& a bath...

So home it was to get in a nap… & off to explore a few sites of my own since this nap was sure to be a long one.

missing the convertible but the sunroof is still nice!

First a pit stop for something delish… a BBQ chicken sandwich at one of my favorite places – Chris’ Cosmic Kitchen! If you are in the Wilmington, NC area, this place is a MUST try.  WARNING you will crave it after you taste it & there are not enough days in the week to try everything you want to there. But if you are brave, attempt the Large Stack of pancakes! Only 5 people have been able to finish them.  If you do you get to join the hall of fame & even get a T-shirt!  Impressive.

Seriously good stuff! He even makes the BBQ sauce from scratch.

After lunch I decided to drive just out of town to check out an antique store to see if it might be a good place to get some furniture to fix up – after I end up getting in a better financial place…. like with a job!

No real luck, but it was an eye opener to see a few things I had as a kid being sold IN AN ANTIQUE store!

I had one of these! ....but I'm guessing no one paid $95 for it!

Tempted by this (THE MUPPETS!!!) but in the spirit of decluttering, I left it on the 50% off shelf. I'm STRONG!

So no luck there.  On to another shop that I always tend to find something I wish I could bring home with me.  But I wasn’t sure if they had beds…. found out they had a few, but not many queens & not really any that worked with the look I was going for, even repainted.  Still the stock changed every week so it could be fun hunting just in case.

I was able to spot a few pieces that with some paint & maybe new hardware might be great finds!

Both of these caught my eye, but do I want more storage or comfort while sitting in front of the mirror? Both need some white paint!

Maybe its the colors on this, but its cute!

This sign did inspire... but I had to leave it there to inspire someone with more cash flow.

these lovely ladies wanted to come stay at my house, but we all decided they needed a grander (bigger) yard to view

The bonus here is that the longer it sits on the sales floor the more the price drops.  So when I do get the money coming in, these may even be a better deal.

So maybe I am open to a few other ideas than just the IKEA stuff.  But I still love my Hemnes pieces!  Who knows?! But what fun it is to dream.

Oh & as far as purchases… I did AWESOME!

Didn’t get a thing other than some creamer for tomorrow’s coffee & a few supplies to make it easier to eat in rather than picking up take out again.

yeah me.

Now…. where is that pug?  Its BATH TIME!