Sword Of Damocles & 29 Gifts again

Saturday…. I needed a saturday so badly this week.  One with no real agenda this morning.  No driving out of town or rushing off to do whatever.  Just some me time.

Ok I’m on call for work so can’t exactly be too tied up this morning but so far so good.  Just one wrong number and everyone showing up where they should when they should. 🙂  Life is good when things work out.

Might have woke up at 6 am anyway, but I can take waking up scratching mosquito bites on my feet that remind me of a great night over a crisis call anytime!  Besides I got to sleep another 4 hours afterwards.

That full moon lit mosquito invasion night actually got me thinking (…I know I do that often…)  but thinking of history & the goals we set in our lives.  I love a good philosophical discussion over a couple bottle of wine. Incredible how we sometimes find more about who we are in a discussion with a friend than we can find in hours of looking into a mirror.

At times I think a mind is a billion times sexier than the best of bodies.  Doesn’t hurt when it comes in the same package, but that’s a side thought.

Looking back at my love life history, it does show a pattern.  I date guys I am attracted to.  Some work out for a while but nothing serious.  No real zing.  The ones that were the “great” relationships with meaning – no matter the ending – have something in common.  The mental ability to challenge.

Dorm room duo

The first we grew a lot in college together and fought the world side by side learning how to get by.  Only when we started in different directions that the issues became insurmountable.  Still wish him nothing but the best & although we are two entirely different people now, I am grateful for the shared experience and all that I learned.

Opposites Attract then Repel

The second biggie also challenged my thoughts.  Looking back I wonder how we ever even opened up enough to be a couple.  We were in so many ways polar opposites living parallel lives.  Still I liked the insight.   We consistently challenged and brought in new ideas.  When it came down to it, it didn’t end well but it was what it was.  I gained a bigger sense of self.  I now know when it comes to it, I am willing to stand up for my own beliefs rather than surrender them.

So onward.    …& why haven’t I seen the connections before?

And better question: How to I look for that mental Zing that won’t fade away.  I want to be challenged yet how long can we possibly expect that to last?  The common outlook seems to bore me yet is that what is sustainable?  Or will there be one who will be able to share the passion of learning and thinking yet able to find common ground on those most important decisions in life?

I’m looking for Vin Diesel body & voice when I should be searching for a modern day Plato.

Or who knows.  Maybe I am destined to live my life on my own two feet in a constant state of inquiry.  Finding new ways to challenge my own thoughts while sharing a few moments with the creatures Dr Frankenfurter brings to life…

Oh Rocky!

“Judge no one happy until his life is over”

Here is hoping that I still have much more time before that Sword of Damocles dangles over my own head.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

ALSO:  Decided it was high time that I did the 29 Gifts Challenge again!

Day one down yesterday.  Share something with a friend.  While I’m going to be doing the 29 Gifts challenge again & going to be accountable by checking in, I’m not sure that I will list each gift.

I want to inspire positive action and giving not promote my own.

…although I still say even Budda valued himself enough to see the worth in his own story.  We should all be proud enough of who we are to honor it & find joy in our paths to bliss.

Join me?

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Cadbury Creme Kona Kinda Morning

Remember that thought I had yesterday, well today I sacrificed the egg.

all the makings of a great spring morning

But today the egg, went into the cup!

oh egg, I know I should just savor you, but I have to try this... forgive me

then in went the Kona Kcup in to the Keurig…

Coffee People, I have no idea who you are, but I love you so.

brewed right onto the egg in a favorite mug & the aroma is pure decadent bliss.

HIGHLY suggest stirring well

delish!

So why a post on candied up coffee?

Because I have barely been away 2 hours and already learned that 2 friends have lost beloved pets over the night.

The first was one I knew & loved.  The second I never met, but know she was adored and pampered.

So quick how life passes.  So take a moment & savor the good stuff.  Enjoy being silly.  As I sit here sipping my cup, pug snuggled up to my side, I have THREE parrots shooting air kisses.  All 3 have joined me after their previous homes didn’t work out for whatever the reason & none came with any kissing.  Through love and caring they have learned to associate that sound as one I will respond back with.  Today they are greeting the new day & me with it.

& Bongo although he has been with me the longest, hasn’t developed this but he also doesn’t make much noise ever…. he is my adventurous explorer.  Go wink at him & he gladly will return the favor, but kissing? He just doesn’t do the noises!

Each moment is such a gift.  So precious.

My deepest sympathies to those who are grieving their loses.  My heart aches but hopes that the moments you shared, as unique as they are, keep them close to your heart & provide some comfort during this time.

Farewell Dolly.

Dolly, the only Citron Cockatoo I've ever known

You were beautiful, rare & adored.  I was lucky to know you.

Transforming

So even though I had a blast last night with one of my favoritest people in the whole wide world…

...the pound cake...

….today I just can’t seem to break free from the funk.

Yup. I’m a tad crankster.

I am completely amazed at how much fun we had on so little cash.  We both are in between jobs at the moment & ended up being surprised by freebies from sweet people all night!  It was like the luck gods said… you two crazies are going to have a blast tonight even if you are being thrifty! Love those nights!  Great fun catching up with a few friends we have missed & also watching one heck of a drag show!

So this morning I woke up only a little later than normal, 8:30ish, got my coffee & to my surprise discovered as I was relaxing letting the breeze flow inside a WASP must have got in!  I have screens so I haven’t got a clue how, but there it was buzzing around the main light in the den!  For once I didn’t panic & just leave the room…..but I did remind myself & check exactly where my epipen was!

seriously? already out in MARCH?

With where it was, there was no smacking it to kill it & I’m not a huge kill it kind of girl.  I tend to escort spiders outside rather than squish them. Don’t get me wrong here… roaches, palmetto, water bugs whatever you want to call them are exempt – then will meet the bottom of my shoe inside or out of my house!  Typically my preferred action would be to step outside while someone else who isn’t allergic kills it to prevent it from killing me.  Since none of the parrots or Baxter stepped up, this wasn’t an option. grrr.

So I had to relax & just hope it would land somewhere I KNEW would be a quick one shot kill & not just piss it off & start the war.  Alas I calmed down & now haven’t a clue where the danged thing went! crud.

So on with the day. Shower, lunch & more relaxing since I still am feeling tired physically if not mentally.  Also I am feeling the need to reinvent myself.  Maybe it was all the beautiful queens last night who made their lovely looks their on own that is making me take stock.  Maybe its the changes all happening in my life.  Still I am feeling like something different.  (Not to mention, wishing I started dieting & working out more about a year ago! Not helping that I feel like I want to constantly be munching on something right now.)  Maybe its not seeing any job listings that really make me sparkle & think “that is SOOO me!”.  Whatever it is, time like these do not call for rash decisions.  I solemnly swear not to bust out the scissors to my long locks til I am ok with the idea for at least a few days.

 

the divine Dixie Queen herself, Tara Nicole Brooks

(in yesterday’s shade of pink!!!)

Still those queens in there hold their heads high knowing they are who they want to be & it is by their own two hands that they got there.  They decided & they went for it.  Sure they have help & support, ….lots of support! 😉 But they transform into their ideals & fantasy life instead of just accepting things as they are.  So how to lasso that power of transformation & become energized to better define me? I think a lot of it comes from not caring a bit what others think.  Just being true to your own spirit & doing what you need to do to live like you want to live.   …as they say “Stand beside me or step out of my way”.

I’m just cranky.  …& I don’t know why.

So dream time.  Maybe a movie.  Maybe some pizza… maybe a nap?

dream I get to nap here.... instead of the stupid twin

Guess I just need to remind myself that every dream takes time & work.  We all have our days we just want to stay in bed & forget the world for a while.  Get lost in some fantasy…in whole different story.

Let go of all the makeup, hair & boot envy sparked from last night.  Just enjoy the here & now as it is & relax.

…..or should I?

Pugs & Kisses

Remember how I started the Grilled Chicken Sandwich Challenge?

yeah, I barely do either, but last night I remembered while I was getting take out & thought, why not?

Its a HEART! awww

Course this morning I almost forgot it in the fridge!  Doctoring it up didn’t really happen but I did remember a pack of honey & one of barbeque sauce in my desk.  Less than thrilled? So was I.

However the Lemonade Girl Scout cookies were a nice surprise!

Last night a friend & her daughter were selling them & I knew I HAD to replenish the Thin Mint supply.  Along the with Thin Mints I just asked her to pick me out another box of something yummy.  Lemonades it was.  Typically I never think lemon with cookies and at 1st I almost said “pick a different one!” but it WAS her choice, so I went with it.  I brough the box into work to share in hopes to sweeten the day.  So far its only worked on me, but that’s ok.

In case you want to try them, there is a Girl Scout Cookie finder ap for your iPod available at iTunes! Yes I have to admit I  downloaded it after a friend mentioned.  Or you can check this website for them.

Also a few pieces of things I love today.  Since I pulled a card from a fun “tarot” deck I had at the house.   Not sure why, but it was sitting there on the shelf as I walked by & I thought why not?

the Lovers from the Housewives Tarot

The Lovers card.  I’m partially ignoring the obvious since I’m still on the fence about this whole let Shadow back in my heart or keep moving on searching thing.  Who knows.  Time to think isn’t going to kill anyone…  So focus on this other great love.  Baxter.  The pug adores me.  I adore him.  What more can a gal ask for?

my Baxter

its a mini-Baxter! full of knowledge!

I would love one of these for the bedroom redo!  Hoping that Mod Cloth has them in stock then.  It would look cute on a dresser or shelf up against the sage/mint walls.

because, well he does..

I will gladly take the morning Keurig in one of these… especially if its German Chocolate Cake coffee like this morning! Delish!

muwah! pugs & kisses

Also I love this stuff!  I got one for each member of my family as part of their holiday gifts.  Bonus: It benefits the Pug Rescue Network who use the money to help pugs with medical care, finding homes & all that other stuff that seems to come along the way for pugs.

Sights Ahead

Tonight was bliss.

That’s the best way to describe the date I had with myself. Bliss.

One of the thing I have always wanted to try was having my palm read by someone who knew what they were actually doing.  It was one of the things I regretted not having done sooner in life as I rode to the hospital to have the 1st operation on my hand.  I had spent just over the prior week looking for a palm reader that seemed legit & that I could trust to no avail.  I thought for sure that after the surgery & the scars that followed that it would never be the same or an option to have read.  Like wearing a ring on that finger, I said good bye to that dream.

 

I took this picture before surgery knowing it might be the last chance to see it before scars. The finger didn't move, but the skin was still together.

Thankfully, like wearing a ring, I was wrong.  It can & has now been done!

Yup check that one off the life list!

Had an amazing experience tonight having my palms read & then two separate sessions with a couple of amazing psychics! Blew my mind how on target they were and how much ahead there is too come. Lots of confirmations and reminders.

So wonderful & one of the things that the palm reader reminded me to do was journal.  She mentioned that I had a lot of stories to tell & I needed to get them out.  I admitted it was something I had gotten into a while back, but other than blogging (which there is a point where my story ends & others’ begin – thus I need to respect their rights & stop) – I hadn’t been journaling over the past few years.

So afterward, after I soaked in all the information, I treated myself to a new journal.

& that crystal on there is the rose quartz, a love stone, that I blindly picked.  Nothing else to say about that here, but very optimistic about my future.

The old adage about good things coming to those who wait, just may be true after all in some aspects of life!

Also I am a tad excited about tomorrow morning!!!

German chocolate cake coffee?? Hellzya! I was tempted to taste tonight, but I knew I would be up all night!  So tomorrow morning it is.

IKEA may be contagious

So while my bedroom project may be on hold (as well as spending any money on anything extra til I can figure out what I am doing in life), I still long to start redecorating & changing.  Yesterday the IKEA catalog came in the mail & I couldn’t help but spend a few moments going through it.

I got up to refill my glass of water & came back to see this….

Course I had to snap a picture!

Baxter seems to approve of IKEA stuff & wants to help pick a few things out.  Shame he can’t he pay for some of it or even be allowed in the store to give his opinion on the options!  Maybe one day.

But not today.

Today is just for enjoying the day.  No alarms or travel mugs, just sleeping late & delicious regular mugs of coffee.

May even get to get out & start the photo scavenger hunt if the rain subsides.  Also have an event tonight that I have been looking forward to since I booked it with a bit of holiday cash a while back.

Going to be able to check off another thing off the life list, but more on all that later.  For now back to the pug snuggles & warm sips.

what the french toast?

Yup, its a Golden French Toast sort of morning here.

I realized this morning that the smell of this coffee confuesed me.  I smell it… & I taste it…. & it seems odd.  My smell says I should be eating this.  The feel of drinking the warm liquid thinks its should taste like coffee.  The brain isn’t awake yet so its all messed up.  But alas it is quite delish.