the 10 Day YOU Challenge: 3

There are days you have it together and then there are days like yesterday.

Couple of friends had posted about having “adventure days” on Facebook & half way through the day I wanted to cry out “But I didn’t want an adventure day!” but of course I was. Had planned to spend the morning at the beach, but rain canceled that plan. Rain yet the neighbors STILL had the roofers pounding away nonstop on their house.. so no sleeping in. Got up and moving completely unmotivated to do much. Lunch flopped, but I ate it anyway. First mistake.

Took out the trash that stunk like the awful “alfredo” I tried to make & was greeted with a sight I am thankfully not accustomed to: 2 undercover officers. No not for me, but that they were asking about my neighbors (no the roofing ones) didn’t give me much comfort. For some reason the insessant pounding & knowing that something was about to happen just made me surge into good ole GTFO of there mode.

So I did. Baxter had just been outside, so it was a quick change of clothes & I was out. Panic attacks have a way of speeding you up. In the rush, I left behind the pedometer I have been addicted to, so no clue how much I walked but a few laps around the mall (no shopping because frankly there isn’t that much interesting left there). Wandered around a few other places & it was time to head over to a friend’s place. We had agreed to check out Guardians of the Galaxy (which I loved!) and have a summer roll night since we are both on a kick. At least that part of the night was on track & was calming. The movie had me cracking up actually! Some hilarious lines. Seriously where else can you hear someone put a guy in their place with “I will not succumb to your pelvis sorcery”? Yes I want that on a tank top!

Haven’t had a lot of panic attacks recently so I got pissed off that I actually had one. Even debated if I was actually having a heart attack & might need to head to the hospital just in case. Being told I needed to get healthier has me scared I guess. I’m a pro at these attacks. Haven’t worried about that in years! They feel similar from what I hear but usually I can tell myself to chill, maybe take a pill & heart issues don’t even cross my mind. So what was different this time? No clue.

But I did figure out why it started. The police presence. The neighbors. The banging. The fact that neighbors have died next door after being shot, even if it was years & years ago, still evidently haunts me. There were no guns drawn. No swat uniforms or loud angered yelling. Not so much as even a blue light. Only way I knew there were police or anything wrong, was the badges on the belt & brief chatting with them. Grateful I don’t know much about my neighbors so not much for me to tell.

I’m over this drama.

Adventure days are over rated.



What perfect timing. Thanks to rainy weather here again I have watched 3 movies in the last 24 hours.  Yes I do need to get out of the house & do something today but for fun not escape.

& I completely was bad calorie wise & treated myself to a small popcorn (no salt or butter added) & a small coke at the theater… so basically I had a 2 liter of soda and a carload of popcorn. Those sizes are out of control. Felt nauseous before the 40 minutes of ads were over before the movie started!

3. Sharknado 2: the Second One

2. Guardians of the Galaxy (mmm. Groot’s voice!)

1. Cottage Country


Once Upon A Time….

….there was a little girl who read stories of perfect worlds, with perfect people and perfect lives.  She listened to tales of true love and happily ever afters.  She watched movies where the characters would do anything to bring about the happy endings.  She grew up.

Along the way she realized a few things.  The princes had flaws.  The princesses underestimated themselves and down played their powers and talents to attract those princes and make them feel needed.  What guy can resist the damsel in distress?  The women in the stories who did end up speaking up for what they wanted were often shunned & rejected.  Those who lived up to their truest potentials and didn’t rely on anyone else even were sometimes called a witch.  Even if all they really were casting were shadows.

She found a tale that resonated with her.  One of a girl, who defied the standards of princesses.  the girl even dared to wear pants instead of dresses.  The girl made friends along the way as she fought to get to the castle to rescue her brother.  Yes she fought.  Yes she was the rescuer not the rescuee.  She passed on the offers & temptations of the perfect life in the perfectly floating bubble with the magical prince.  The girl made friends unlike herself along the way. She stayed true to herself & knew that power lied within.  No one had power over her without her permission.  She couldn’t control others’ actions, but she did control her reactions.

Empowered with a sense of a new breed of princess, she lived life on her own terms.  She went through life making choices based on her own heart & her own goals instead of trying to fit into the molds laid out before her of what “should be”.  She held on to her dreams.

But alas some days it felt that she was trapped in her own castle.  Sometimes she even wished to be rescued by some handsome prince.  She played with her animal friends & reminder herself how lucky she was to not be tied down to the standards. Lived in the moments & followed her bliss.

Still part of her longed to meet her match.  The one person in the world who would see her for her true self & love her for it.  The one being that would accept her and not try to change her.  The one man who would stand beside her in a fight rather than try to hide her away & suppress her abilities.  One who by connecting with, would be lifted up as much as she in their meeting.

After many encounters with princes (& paupers who acting in no way princely), she began to wonder what it all was really worth?

But deep down, the little princess that still lived alive & well within reminded her that without hope, nothing was possible & that only by keeping dreams alive would they ever come true.

So will there be a happily ever after?


the real question is will there be a prince? that is still to be determined.

One thing was for sure.  The princess came from a long line of lucky ladies who managed to find the one true loves that were determined to be by their sides til the end come what may.  This thought alone gave her the most hope in the darkest days. That & she was empowered with a beautiful gift.  She had been taught along the way by these couples that no matter what happens she was worth waiting for.  She was blessed beyond settling for anything less than perfect (& that she would be the one to see it as perfect, complete with all its flaws).  Self love would get her everywhere.

…..& for that she was eternally grateful & knew she would eternally be loved.