Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, “I just don’t care.”?

THE LIST for 2015 is FINALLY complete & I’m excited to start checking off all the fun things on it before 2015 is over. Last year I managed to check of 45 of the 99 things listed. This year will be even more.

Thankfully last night, I was able to make a dream come true & strike off one thing from the list as done!

I finally sprang for a class in Aerial Silks!

(cue the Glitter in the Air song)

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I will be honest, when I walked into the class my plan was to get some pictures & write a blog post about my introduction to aerial silks. Had a friend who signed up too & thought how easy to just snap a couple of action shots? Would have been had I not entranced from the moment one of the students hung up the contraption to the huge hook in the ceiling. The braided fabric beautifully falling the height of the room and puddling its excess on the floor.  I may have internally squealed as the teacher tested the stretch & give of the sash.
We warmed up and she went over a few basic stretching & things to know like terminology and facts like how much weight the humongous single piece of fabric could hold (note: no fears here. All 7 of us could have climbed on & it still wouldn’t have been strained from the weight!).

It was scary for sure, trusting that the fabric wrapped in a particular way would hold us from falling on the wooden floors. Not being the first to go was a practice in patience and helped to make it a bit easier to feel confident in the wrap. Once I did get my chance, it felt amazing! Although we might have looked graceful and at ease in the poses, they were challenging to get into. The tension in my muscles battled with the desire to stay swinging. The stress seemed to fall from my body as I inverted and let go of the fear of falling.

The names of the poses also thrilled me.  Mermaid.  Angel.  Star. Flamingo.  Peter pan. All great things in my eyes.  I left imagining signing up for as many classes as possible to fit in.

Today it all definitely crashed back down to ground. Seems there was some mix up from when I signed up. The studio offered a discount rate of $5 off when you signed up early. So in December I made the decision to go on and treat myself while I had the cash. Logged in to their website, found the class, entered my information & excitedly told friends about it in hopes they would sign up as well. Which worked.

I thought anyway. Tonight I get a voice mail with a snippy message saying that while they hoped I enjoyed the class, they wondered why I was there last night since they didn’t have me enrolled. Huh? It went on to elaborate how people had to enroll to go to any of the classes… blah blah blah. The point was very clear.

I called back as requested. Thankfully I had saved the email showing when & how I had paid. Unfortunately I also noticed I had been charged the full rate. The person on the phone went into some tirade about how I shouldn’t have been there taking up space last night since I wasn’t enrolled. Only after I mentioned the emailed receipt did she seem to realize I didn’t just show up & get a free class.  She could see their records showing that I had paid in December.  Are they used to people just randomly paying you without any expectations? Turns out their system will take the payment yet you still need to enroll separately.  She tried to explain how I had messed up.

No apologies. No refunds. No going back.

Certainly I had messed up.  In spending the cash to try something new and expecting their system to work.

Mercury is in retrograde and it feels like it for sure. Communication breakdowns left and right. I’m hanging on & trying to see the positives but at times I just want to scream. Tonight I am trusting that the wraps will hold tight and that tomorrow will be easier. At least I got to enjoy dangling for a little while.

As for getting back into the air? Thankfully the teacher runs her own company and holds classes in several locations around town.  Now I just have to make sure that next time, no one considers me as the tag-a-log extra freeloading. I may not have much cash at the moment, but I draw the line at stealing. Oh life. Why do you test us all so much?

Thankfully day 5 is in the books. Only 95 more days of working out & writing left to go. Then the real magic – Disney! For now, I will just strive to catch a few dreams in my sleep & hope that the morning light brings a new outlook. Until then…

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100 Days til Disney – Building Habits

Today I woke to the knowledge that in 100 Days I will be at WALT DISNEY WORLD!

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Bit of a Disney geek…. just a tad! Actually it runs in the family because not long after waking my sister called & was just as excited. She is trying not to drive her husband nuts with the countdown, but we both have apps on our phones reminding us. She has a visual countdown with an idea she got from Pinterest to help lil wee nephew countdown with us (even though he hasn’t a clue where he is going).  At 70 days, his countdown will start! So exciting.

We were loving some Rafiki time! Those smiles!

We were loving some Rafiki time! Those smiles!

Mine however is going to be a bit more productive. I hope.

While I count down the days, I plan on building up some good habits.

It’s been done before in various ways. John “the Penguin” Bingham does 100 Days at the being of each year for people to start each year off right with 100 straight days of 30 minutes or more of exercise. One of my favorite blogs (seriously it is funny & beautifully done) Going Reno even declares that her 100 Day Experiment saved her life!

Most people would get a calender and start marking off the days. In the past I have found a picture with 100 bubbles to color in one day at a time. Even have seen where people get a 100 piece puzzle & add one piece for each day they complete the tasks. (Who has room to do that? or the patience?) Others use chalkboards or move beads from one jar to another. Me? I need some Mickey!

100 Day Countdown to Disney

At the end of each day where I complete the tasks, I will color in a Mickey.

So what am I doing for the next 100 days other than getting giddy with anticipation?

Going to go big & develop two habits.

Normally I would say focus on one, but both are things I do regularly just not as regularly as I would like.

  • WRITE – everyday. every single day. I do this sporadically but the reality is I need to write daily. Even if just for a few minutes. I MUST write at minimum 2 sentences per day for the next 100 days.
  • MOVE – I exercise a lot more than I used to but I can always do more. So everyday. At least one mile or 30 minutes per day of intentional physical activity. No rest days, but certainly understand their value and will rest groups of muscles regularly to avoid injury.

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That’s the plan. For the next 100 Days, starting today I will be moving (& burning off the Disney excitement energy) & writing (new Disney travel prep book in works?).

Let’s do this!

101 Days til Bliss

Life is just bizarre at times. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions as a family member passed away. At 97 no one can say they didn’t see it coming but the drama of it all still takes it’s toll.

In a lot of ways, the whole process was healing to me. Being able to be there as he let go was something a few years ago would have terrified me. Now I just realized that the process had started & accepted it for what it was. The death rattle didn’t scare me, just made me wish there was something I could do to prevent the pain & confusion. Thankfully although all I could do is talk with him & hold his hand, hospice was there to assist with the pain & anxiety. Not sure how people pass without them & their gifts but again I am grateful for all they do & amazed that people do this daily yet stay so positive and caring.

The good-bye itself carried a lot of emotion. I believe that you never turn your back on family & that blood binds, but at times that is tested for sure. He & I didn’t agree on a lot of things, but he cared for my father when he was young & tried to be there for us all. Listening to so many rave about him at his funeral almost made me forget the bad times. I am thankful that there are so many who do remember him fondly & that I could hear the good things he did in his life. His time on earth truly has impacted many people in a lot of ways which is an achievement for sure. He fought hard to make it to 100, but in the end it was time for him to go on.

Now it is time for us to move on. Getting hugs at the end of the days from my nephew and seeing his smile reminded me that there is hope for a better tomorrow. Just have to make it so.

Which got me thinking- why abandon this blog? Because it reminds me of the tough times? Nah. Those are the times that made me strong enough to be who I am today. Scars and all.

So time to revamp & renew. Change this into something that once again makes me feel at peace with life. Happy to be me. Thus the new look.

Hopefully the changes will be good ones. Time will tell.  All we can do is the best we can & find something to always look forward to. See the glimmer of hope.

For me today that spark is knowing that in 101 days I will be in Disney World with the cutest kid I know as one of the happiest aunts alive.

That and that there is always a snuggle waiting patiently by my side.

Pugs lives are just hard sometimes.

Pugs lives are just hard sometimes.

 

 

 

Soulmates

Started the day still thinking of how I would spend $1,000.  Thinking the best way would have been hopping a flight to Walt Disney World & enjoying the weekend staying in one of the resorts.  Its almost been a year since the last trip there & so much has changed.  Reminds me how we need to treasure each moment, since we only get them once.

Yet I am a lazy bum today.

Beyond lazy.

Blame staying up til 3 am.  Blame the windows being open & having to suffer through hours of a VERY nearly by neighbor “practice” on a drum set.  Blame the slowness of getting caffeine into my addicted body.  Whatever the reason I got a MASSIVE headache & decided to make it a movie day in bed.

Instead of a play date with other pugs, Baxter got a bath.  Thankfully he doesn’t even know what he missed.

Not sure how I went from going to watch scary movies all day to watching cheesy rom-coms, but I did.  Also got me thinking way too much about love.  Thinking about my lack of a love life.  Which is a good thing in many ways, but also not the greatest deal in the world.

So many complications and misunderstandings in the “game” of love.

It is a wonder anyone every makes it happily ever after.  I still have to believe that somewhere, someone still gets to meet, fall, devote themselves & stay together til the end hand in hand as best friends.  It can’t all just be settling for what is there.  Compromise is one thing, but compromising ourselves is another.  Does it ever really go smoothly?

One movie, TiMER, presented the idea that a company invented a device that would be implanted in your wrist & could tell you the day you would meet your soul mate.  IF they also had a timer implanted.  Then the count down would hit zero.  Then during that day, the timer would beep when you two met.  Not all romantic, but you would know who it was & more importantly who it wasn’t.

Still how much would we miss out on if we ONLY dated those that we truly were meant for?  How much do we learn and grow from those “mistakes” we make along the way.  Who is to say that those relationships that didn’t last the test of time, didn’t last just as long as they were meant to.  They serve a purpose in our lives, if only to make us realize we can survive what we think is unsurvivable.

I love the idea that there would be one person to delight us and make the whole life long journey worth traveling, but what if there isn’t? Give up?  Just let go of the whole idea of meeting potential partners completely?

Sometimes it seems the safest way to survive.

Still what is the point of never taking a risk now and then?

Never learn to walk if we stay safely in the crib.

Still sometimes it just all doesn’t seem worth the fight.