HEaling

He broke my heart.

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Again.
This time I got enraged.

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As fragile as I may seem sometimes, my heart is my strongest part.  It may crack, but it knows how to mend.

A really hard part for me to deal with is, I feel more disappointed in the path he is choosing for himself than I do angry that my path is now altered.

Not sure what that says about me. Either I care too much for others or simply not enough for myself.

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Either way. Healing is the only thing that matters now. For me and hopefully one day he will choose it for himself.

I’m sad.

I’m mad.

In a way I am also glad it happened now instead of later.

Also helps me appreciate the past that I have. Without seeing what love and support can be like between two people and growing up with a family that may not always agree but in hard times we held together, I could have ended up just like him.

Time will heal and growth is already happening.

Still sometimes it is frustrating just trying to do what so many do every day.

As a great friend said “Love is easy. Relationships are hard.”

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Such truth.

So while he chooses to listen to the demons inside, I choose to listen to the child within who believed in herself. The one who knows she deserves a love where there is respect and equality along with support during the tough times instead of distance and anger.

I will be who I am.

Sooner or later, I will be loved madly for it.

Until then, I still have myself.

and pug hugs galore!

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