Just Be You

My body has scars, but not tattoos.
There is no desire to change that.
Sometimes I actually enjoy not drinking.
Sometimes I enjoy having a glass.
Sometimes I will have fun getting drunk.
Some days I am confident.
Some days I am less so.
Times I want to rule the world and make things right.
Others I just want to put it out of it’s misery.
Still other days I just want to work a nice pair of kitten heels and master eyeliner.
I’ve been curvy and called fat.
I’ve been skinny and been called sick.
I’ve been called healthy when I was anything but.
There are many things in the world I want to try while there are things I simply don’t see the need for in my life.

The one thing I will never understand is the desire for people to change me.
My life is mine alone and if you have nothing else to do but belittle, try to reshape me and force your desires on me, you truly are one hell of a sad existence. In this great big world you don’t think there is enough room for us all? Those who lack their own definitions and seek someone else to become a reflection to validate them? Why can’t we just be as we are? The mass feels the need to all walk the same line and declare how outside the norm they are because they aren’t marching with the bigger herd.

Redefine the dance.
Break formation instead of being drawn into their cadence.
Sparkle. Shake the glitter into your aura and beckon to the gypsy inside that her time is now, always now. Time to create the world that your soul longs to lounge in instead of mandating that everyone else conform to standards blindly because that is what is expected.

Drift to where your heart sings.
But don’t you dare try to drag me down.

~Ali

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I frankly hate that I live in a day and time where women can’t enjoy glamour and glitz without it somehow “proving” they aren’t feminists or strong. Isn’t feminism about equality & our right to be who we want to be without being seen as inferior?

There is no link to pink zapping out your power.

Had a conversation with a drag queen friend about how my next life I am going to be a queen so I can dress up and do all the artistic looks without just being labeled crazy. Struck how stupid that sounded. I AM a girl.

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When did we lose the glamour side of being female? I prefer jeans but I should be able to strut in glitter boots without looks. IF I want to wear a backless LBD & kitten heels to shop in, why shouldn’t I. Why would it be something unusual?

Last night in my red/hot pink hair of the moment, I had a class full of college students in aw or shock at the vivid color. It was before class & one person commenting on the bright color, opened up everyone else to ask questions, or as one did “Can I touch it?” (It is hair. It feels like hair. “Knock yourself out, why not?”) One even asked if I did it in support of breast cancer. Um No. I did it for myself. Do we really need a cause to be able to acceptably be different? So if it was for Breast cancer it is cool, but because I did it for kicks, it is strange? That doesn’t seem right.

Did have a professor (attorney practicing) that in another private conversation mentioned how she wished she had the confidence to try something like it. We talked about temporary color techniques and which lasted how long, etc. I could see the desire in her eyes. Having daughters, she was excited to hear about the chalking way of adding color without the length other more semi permanent have. Confidence? She is an attorney & professor, she has ultimate confidence! Me I’m a recovering agoraphobic with introvert tendencies. Just doesn’t seem logical.

Maybe it is just that I live in the crotch of the bible belt at the moment, but it seems like muted and mundane is accepted but sparkle is some how shunned.  Molds are only good for making candy.

Hoping one day we can just express ourselves how ever we feel that day without shame.  We will kick ass in glittery heels, canvas chucks or combat boots. This is our world too & we should be able to be ourselves as WE choose.

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