Dealing.

I’m odd.

I get that.  My attitude in life is to be true to yourself and just be you, even if it doesn’t fit the stereotype or have you keeping up with some Jones.

Still sometimes it feels good to know that you are pretty normal.  Today I went to check in with the psychiatrist.  Usually it is just a quick chat to make sure the meds are still doing what they are supposed to do & get a couple of refills.  Of course this visit I had a tad more to talk about.  Nearly broke down in the waiting room thinking about how to even start the conversation about losing my Mom & how hard it has been.

Was thankful to talk about it some and to hear that he didn’t feel the need to toss me in a loony bin or add more meds.   Strange to think that as far as mourning goes, I got this.  Even if sometimes I feel completely lost & clueless on how to deal.  Looking into support groups.  So far there doesn’t seem to be anything locally that works with my schedule til March 25th.  I can deal.

One thing I have noticed is my appetite is kaput. Honestly I couldn’t care less about food right now.  I’m still eating, but it is more out of routine than desire.  The smoothies are good in the mornings (blueberries, peaches, apple juice & vanilla protein powder today).  The rest of the day I could skip.

In an effort to get back to normal, whatever that is now…. here is my 52 Lists for this week.  The prompt is “Great Things I Have Read Lately”.  Honestly so far this year, I have only read one good book.  The rest are for class or in response to dealing with grief or providing hospice care.  Not exactly anything I would recommend to anyone, because it would mean you are dealing with a loss or soon to be loss.  So stick with Winter Shock if you are going to read something off my list!

Read Lately

1. Recipe: I should.  I will.  Sooner or later.
2. Writing: meh.  who knows.  nothing really.  I forgive myself.  Better luck next month.
3. Ocean: last week I studied before class.  Today it was stormy all day so I had to skip it. Hoping it clears up before I need to head back to Charlotte.
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