So after all the end of life focus in class & going through trying to make a will of my own discovering the things that matter may not out live me, I found myself surrounded by family. Family I am proud to claim every time I see them. People who remember me as a baby or growing up. Who remember the others who have passed on but can share their stories to clear up confusions and show us again how much we all are alike. People who care. People who share inside jokes and pick, but know over all family is family. BLOOD BINDS. I need more time like this. Remembering.
Much better than stressing on everything going on now. Or panicking for the future potentials; Just relax and see how far you have come and from the amazing people you have come from and who have your back when you need it, even if you can’t see them there, I know I felt several presence that I didn’t know there, but they seem to fit right in with the warm & laughter. Family just goes so strongly on & on.
I feel like in so many ways the paths I have taken haven’t lead to my parents and ancestors being as proud of me as they could have been. Sometimes I have to do things I know are right. Others I haven’t a clue why it doesn’t work itself out.
I know the list:
- serious stable relationship with someone who isn’t psychotic
- finish college
- find a steady career that shows the college was work it
- rise up through the ranks at the company to a position that you can be proud to tell people about & live comfortably on the wages from
- Get engaged
- Get married
- Have kids
- Have kids who do all types of thinks like ball & ballet & still do incredible in school
- Juggle being a great parent with having a great career & maintaining your amazing house and building your saving account while keeping up with all the Jones.
um…. well I have a car I’m paying off. The parrots & pug love me and it seem to be a pretty stable relationship. Tried the college & career thing & had a few set backs that made me rethink. Hoping that this round puts me where I need to be. Maybe even the stepping stone to go on to law school & finally do something they can be proud of for one. The rest… well I don’t blame them about not being so proud. Every family needs a black bird, I’m it.
But maybe ….just maybe…. life has surprises ahead.