Needless Chaos

Last night was a tough night for me.  I tossed & turned in between nightmares.  When I would wake, it felt I was still trapped in the dream.  The feeling of fear and helplessness stuck with me as I did the morning stuff.  Just couldn’t shake it.  Hate mornings like that.  Sets the whole day off.  In a funk and tired from “fighting” all night.

Then I checked to see what was going on with everyone on Facebook.

There was a vague post about thinking about the tragedy in Colorado.  Huh?  Where?  Immediately I thought about my family there.  Surely this was another wild fire or something probably no where near them.  Quick check on Twitter lead to the horrific news of the shooting at the theater.  Thankfully the 3 cousins that were most likely to be there have moved back to Florida or are deployed overseas.  The one cousin still there can’t seem to stay up past 10 so I doubted she would be at a midnight showing of anything.  No phone calls bringing bad news so I tried not to panic.  No news is good news is the motto of the family, but then again there are times when they just don’t want to worry anyone until they have to.

Truth is I was chilled to the bone even being aware this happened.  Again.

Luckily, I’m not family or friends with anyone there directly involved.  Like most of the world, I’m on the outside looking on in horror at a loss of what to do, how to help, what to think of it all.   So why does this make me so nauseous and on edge of crying?  How can people treat each other as if they are just disposable objects?  Why does shit like this happen?  So many questions.  No answers.  Nothing to say.  Just more questions to ask.

Some people in this world are just dangerous.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring answers and healing.  As so many say today, my heart & thoughts go out to those who were involved and I hope this is the last time anything like this ever happens again.

(I know… fat chance,  but a girl can dream)


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