What am I waiting on?

Flipping channels today I stumbled across a discussion about abandoning the life you think you need for the one you truly want.  The question was asked how do you know what it is that you really would be happy doing?  The speaker gave the scenario of walking by a group of strangers who are having a conversation.  What would the topic be that would actually make you stop & introduce yourself to be able to join in the conversation?  Whatever it is that you care enough about to join in a group of total strangers’ conversation, is what brings you joy.

So what is it?

What is that one thing that makes your heart sing?

It stuck with me and struck a chord.  What would be my one thing?  More importantly – how can anyone focus on just ONE thing?  Is it normal to have one thing? Maybe I have life ADD.

Ask me in high school what I wanted.  Ask again in college, after college, after September 11, 2001, after the end of my past relationships, last summer…. all different answers.  Still judging by other successful lives, there has to be a common thread some where in there.

I know what makes me light up & brings me joy.  But making it into a career?  It changes…. a lot depending on the situation.  Spending time with the parrots, pugs & other animals in my life certainly is a highlight, but would it be so great if it were more? not sure.  Enjoy writing & reading, but how does that really pay? I’m not an english major or connected to those to publish a book & what would it be about.  I have more life to live.  Human Resources was great & in many ways I miss it, but something was missing there.  Hard to keep so positive in the land of negative.  Law is certainly exciting & has my attention right now & I sincerely hope that a door will open for me there when its time.  Hopefully I can find a way to uniquely make it my dream come true.

Still… why the wait?  Why does life make us wait on our dreams?

Even when we think we are nearly there, things change & our devotion gets tested.  Find a great connection, but realize you need to go thru a couple years of training… expensive time consuming training.  Yes tested.  People doubt your ablity and question your desires.  Someone will always try to define you to their standards.  Truth is they may be right in their perception, but that doesn’t make it your reality.  Just means that is what they believe.  Have to stay strong and maintain what is truth to you.  If its meant to be, it will be.  No matter who thinks differently.

So part time job?  that doesn’t suck my soul dry in the meantime?  that would be ideal.  Til then I just am going to hang on & keep focusing on what on earth this dream may be.  Right at the moment it feels a lot like less of a reality than I was hoping it would be.  Still.. hoping it is a test. just a test.


One thought on “What am I waiting on?

  1. 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. Success is not truly success if you had to compromise yourself or your loved ones in order to achieve it. Decide what you want. Design your ideal life and go for it. Do not let any part of that dream slip away in order to get the rest of you will live in regret.

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