the Other woman

Seems at a certain age, we all date with a past.

We meet. We get to know each other and sooner or later we get to talking about past relationships.  Maybe its in an effort to never repeat past mistakes.  Or a way to warn someone not to hurt us in the same ways.  Perhaps its validation that we are good enough to be valued even if it didn’t last.  Simple shared history in an effort to create a future?

Either way tonight I am home thinking of other women.  The recent good thing, shall we call him 85? Has a previous engagement with someone from a previous engagement.  A date with his daughter.  Clearly she will (& should) always be more important than getting to know someone new. 

I have to say I was taken a back slightly when he showed me pictures of her while dining over our first meeting.  A very proud papa with great reason, but my past history made me worry about anyone sharing their children so soon.  My personal opinion is it might not be the best idea to have your kids meeting every date – just the ones that are going to stay around.  Who wants them learning bad habits from freaks, which they could be if you don’t know them!  I will never forget how awkward it felt to have a first date bring his 2 year old daughter and having strangers compliment me on “my little girl” while I watched her as he went to the bathroom!  So when 85 broke out the pictures I had to wonder where this was going.  Thankfully he is completely normal (so far) & just wanted to be up front.  His daughter is his world and if I plan to stick around, she will be there.  The fact that he didn’t drop his weekend plans with her to be with me, impressed me even more.

Still part of me is really curious about this other woman. 

Even more slightly curious about her mother.  We haven’t had the discussion about what when wrong, but I know enough through stories that it was a long relationship and its been over a while.  Honestly what started me wondering was learning over another dinner that her birthday is just days literally, year & all, from mine.  The look on his face was priceless as it registered.  I had no idea what was going on from his reaction, but it is a bit funny looking back.  We clearly have similar taste in guys, so what else do the Ex-Mrs 85 & I have in  common?  Not thinking about it too much, but I am interested.  Time will tell if I am meant to know.

No clue why my mind wanders there tonight, we aren’t THAT serious.  Just inspired.  Not a jealousy thing at all just a curious to know more about his history.

That & still curious where his flaws are… other than living 2 hours away.

Enjoying the moments and imagining what the back stories could be.

Happy to think that things that once would have freaked me out & left me running for the exits, aren’t so scary any more.  Guys have a past.  I have a past.  None of that matters.  The only real thing worth worrying about is who we decide to bring into our current life and the stories we strive to write in our future.

Hoping that no matter where they lead, we all end Happily Ever After.


2 thoughts on “the Other woman

  1. I agree. She has to be number one & 2 hours is a lot better than some deal with. Just enjoying getting to know him & dreaming. Not taking it too serious but so far so great! The crush phase is so fun… anything can be & we haven’t seen all the negative yet.

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