Tell me about yourself… in words

All day at my job, I see resumes. Stacks and stacks of resumes. Good resumes, decent resumes, first resumes, barely even can be called a resume resumes… I frankly have seen a lot in my years of working in human resources and hiring in various capacities.

Resumes that tell me the history, skills and ambitions of strangers. An insight into their ability to communicate and ideas about the places they want to be. Or at least they should. I also see pieces of random bits of words that don’t seem to flow or really describe anything other than the person was forced to submit something. Resumes tell a lot about a person. Just as a wedding invitation gives insight into the occasion and marriage to come, resumes allude to what you can bring as an employee. I’m not saying they should be formal, engraved expensive expressions, but lets face it you don’t use a coconut postcard as your wedding invitation for if the ceremony is at the Ritz-Carleton. Let the paper match the intent. You want the big kid job, you do the big kid prep and show you are up to it. No you don’t HAVE to have a resume, but you also don’t have to have a position that doesn’t include asking if someone wants paper, plastic or to super size.

Sometimes I get to interview the people from the resumes to gain an even deeper insight to them. Always with a standard set of rules that both myself & the person (if they choose to be) are aware of. Some questions are off limits and some expected. The meeting occurs at a mutually agreeable time and public place. The meetings are relatively short & during the meeting we talk about the goals desired, what employment positions they would like to be in and if I am able to connect them with companies who are seeking people like them.

In so many ways, its much like dating.

Lately I have been meeting several different guys on dating sites.

Thankful that the path to my heart isn’t exactly a first come first serve situation. Its going to take just the right combination of skills and personality to land the position.

The profiles give me some basics, maybe even a sense of their personality. If we both agree, we meet in a public location at a mutually agreed upon time. The first meeting can in a lot of way be like the interviews. At least that is the way I see it.

For the profiles, much like some of the resumes, it seems the rules fly out the window. No history for most, unless they choose to answer the married, divorced, widowed, single question honestly. No background checks, no track records or list of abilities that make them stand out from the others.

Just pictures & statements on whatever they like.

So much easier to compare potential employees than it is to compare dates.

Not even last names to do the background checks on our own…. and yes I admit to checking out guys once I get the entire name & I’m honest about it. Amazing the things people forget to mention, like that they moved here to get away from all those pesky charges. I don’t check them all, but if my gut feeling is iffy, the check gets done.

Still I guess its more to go on that just glancing at the guy across the store while picking up groceries. Knocks out a few questions – or should.

Part of the thrill lies in the potentials. The wonder where this could lead curiosity. Slight bit of mystery keeps you asking questions. Funny how the unexpected just happens with the people you least think it will. Other times you have to deal with the unexpected of a different sort. Like today.

I got a message on January 6 from someone older than my preferred range & on first glimpse in no way similar to myself other than skin color. No shared interest & I wasn’t even remotely attracted to the guy. So no response. No biggie. Or so I thought…

Today I get this blast (feel free to skip it)

“This online dating thing is a piece of shit! Vanity and currency are ALL that people care about!! Hopefully that’s not YOU!! Most people ruin it for me because I don’t look like a million bucks nor do I have a million bucks to spend on THEM… If I did, would I be on here??? Please… There are a few of us decent people left. I know I will likely not get that chance to show my inner beauty to anyone because I am a victim of my own beliefs and convictions…. I believe in being myself, which goes against everything in society today! I get penalized for being honest and being real. No one can cope with reality very well!! It’s too bad too… Most women hide behind five year old snapshots. Is that you?? Most women also are nothing more than looking for a free meal or a way to kill 4 hours due to being bored at home or with their current man/men… Is that you?? I would like to think there are some legitimate females actually looking for a relationship!! Could that be you?? I am sorry for the blast of reality but the truth hurts and most can’t handle it!!”

Um… really? Actually I wish I could hide behind the old pictures of the past with my body in peak condition, but that isn’t me any more. Its changed. Some for the better, some admittedly less “perfect”. Let this guy show his “inner beauty”? I think I got enough of a glimpse into his anger issues to realize that is not in my best interest. I get the frustration, but what is the point? No one owes anyone anything.

Not a date. Not a job. Nothing. So try why fight your way in?

I’m all for rebellion & changing what needs to be changed, but when it comes to relationships -both in the workplace & the heart – why do people choose to be combative? I personally have not time for it. Sure there will be disputes along the way. Half the fun of getting to know each other is learning to appreciate even the differences. But why start it off on an angry note? No thanks.

I’m so frustrated today its not even funny. What should have been easy turns to completely exhausting hours of struggle. In the end, things would have been so much easier if we all just were honest & worked together. But egos or whatever it is, gets in the way.

The words tell so much. The words not there sometimes say even more.

Are online dating site profiles the resumes of dating? If so perhaps we need professionals to start aiding in their creation. Certainly is easy sometimes to see why some stay single and unemployed. I will never be someone who says go for the first opening. Got to wait for the best thing & never, ever settle!

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