If today came with a receipt I would return it. Shame when you know there are only 24 hours in a day, but you still can’t wait to get through it to the next. Just feeling a funk. One of those I just want to crawl up in some comfy, safe spot and hide a bit. Sad thing is, nothing around me feels like that. If I had one wish right now, it would be to be on my grandmothers big fluffy couch buried in a couple of blankets and a dozen pillows. Listening to the sounds of the family doing whatever it does and knowing that at any moment I might catch a giggle from her or some one might come thru the door for a visit. Just missing life before. Tired of facing the truth. Tired of dealing and pretending I’m over things and all is going to be ok. Tired.
Which is why tonight I’m unplugging and crashing out early.
New day & new attitude hopefully will improve my mood. At least a change of scenery. Work will be a good distraction and a chance to shake these four walls and all the memories within them. Some days I just want to pack up and leave it all behind. But then where would I go?
So I sleep and hope to dream of happy things.
General goalsfor the coming year & next few months…
- 100 Days challenge – 100 days straight of intentional moving 30 minutes each day – 15 days down, 85 to go til I get my Kindle Fire
- 10 on 10 – give $10 to a non-profit each month on the 10th – gave to the Cape Fear Literacy Council
- Read more! – Finished two books, so far the third is just not going good. Trying to give it a shot, but I may let this one go if I don’t connect to it soon.
- Budget each month prior to the month & stick with it – not feeling well has been great cash flow wise. Nothing spent today or yesterday.
As for the more traditional resolutions:
- Try one new thing each week – Done. Enough said on that. I share enough on here. Just trust me. Stepping outside the comfort zone on that one.
- Cook something each week – certainly tried something new today & it was gross. Was going to make some stir fry with the chicken I got a couple of days ago, but when I opened the package – the smell hit me. It was Bad! Looked all in the pantry & fridge but not so much as a can of tuna. Tossed out a few out dated things though so one positive. Ended up mixing together eggs with spinach, cheese & some turkey. Not so great. But I tried.
- Take one photo I love each week –I need more photog time in my life.
- Continue my love affair with Post Crossing, got a few confirmations that my post cards have made it & even got one from Belarus this week. Another five ready to go Tuesday since the mail doesn’t run tomorrow.
- Floss daily – this is too easy. starting to wonder why its on here. Done, done & done again.
Meditate more – at least weekly– this is getting dropped from the list. I meditated today & nothing good came of it. I refuse to open up anymore if that is where it will lead. Maybe its already feeling bad or who knows what, but when I silenced my mind – memories returned that didn’t need to be remembered. Perhaps I needed the release, but it certainly left me feeling less recharged & more on edge. So no. No more meditation for a while. My mind needs the chatter.
- Daily food picture – 366 dishes – there is nothing pretty about anything on my plate lately. Still this is a record. Hoping one day the pictures of food will be more appetizing.
- Spend an hour with someone else outside of work each week – total flop this week. Flying solo & I can’t say that I regret it. Hoping I spared a few people any germs I could. Just put another hour on my tab for later I guess.