Take it Slow, but Go

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. –Walt Disney

Started the focus & a few baby steps to changing my thoughts.   As the year is winding down, I feel the need to think up a few new challenges for the next year.  Why I don’t know.  I work better when going toward a goal.  I have a bad habit of living in the future or the past.  Either excited about something upcoming or rethinking the things that have happened.  I need to learn to just shut down & enjoy.

My treadmill has been less than loved over the past year & frankly its time to change that.  Never have I been a runner, but I have dipped my toe into the habits now & then.

Growing up I was a dancer.  My exercise came from playing, spending several hours in the studio & a few more at home practicing steps and stretching or even in the pool.  Even as an adult I would prefer yoga over aerobics.  I like the calm, fluidity of it all.  Maybe that is why I like walking better than running.

That & I never got over the awkwardness of running.

In dance you feel beautiful.  Like you are connecting with the music & become part of the moment.

As I adapted to college and no longer being in the dancing world outside of a club’s dance floor, I remember thinking I would tag along with a then boyfriend when he decided he was going to start jogging again.  He understood running was nothing I was familiar with & offered to teach me.  Kind on his part, but his criticism was a tad harsher than expected.  Hearing that I ran weird was not encouraging.  Looking back I blame dance.  I was used to always staying on my toes – literally.  So I ran toe first… which is just weird.  No one runs with their feet like Barbie’s!  I now know its heel down, roll, push off with toes.  So yeah, I guess I did look a bit odd.  This was also a time frame where my main form of meditation happened in a tanning bed.

Training for a half marathon at Disney while dealing with the worst (I hope ever) experiences of agoraphobia didn’t inspire me to join the pack of runners in their high.  I focused on dealing with having to be in that massive heard of strangers more than dealing with the physical stuff.  I couldn’t breath thinking about all those random people around.  I worked out.  Habits were formed inside my house, but soon they too feel by the wayside.

Still part of me is determined to figure out why so many people love running.  Not just to get away, but to enjoy it.  Which is why today I cleaned off the feathers & cranked up the treadmill.  Goal was 15 minutes since it has been a while, but once I got going I ended up doing 30 minutes.  Hoping that tomorrow it feels easy again & I go just as long.  No tracking distance or pace.  For now its just in the doing.  The lacing up the shoes & moving.  No worrying about what the parrots or pug with think.  Just doing.

Hoping that soon I too will find the joy in the moving meditation.

But for now, I take it slow.  Knowing that over the years slow & steady does indeed win the race of time.  Day one down.  On to knowing that each one will need re-dedication and motivation.  I never got up on my old pointe shoes by just lacing them up.  Took time and practice to build up the callouses and muscles.  Its not easy, but its not so hard I can’t achieve this.

My word today is achieve & I know I can.  Just have to keep focused.

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