A catalog arrived today and on the way inside I stopped by the recycle bin & dropped it off. Didn’t even flip a page. Directly into the bin.
There used to be a time where I would be excited to see the book of possibilities and new ideas in the mailbox. I would spend hours looking through and wondering if this or that would be the next best thing in my life. What would I bring into my world to define me or enhance my life?
Some I still look over, but lately they just make me sad. I want things that I don’t need. Things that I do not have money to be spent on. Things I already have. Excess.
But why? Part of it has been growing up shopping filled a need. Part of it is just the desire to make life better. Its not the things we want, its the potential promises they represent. The new bed frame represents the release of old memories. The potential of making more memories. Redefining the room to more of my style now instead of the style of the person I once was. I want to, but do I need to?
I have a bed. A clean, comfortable bed in a room with a roof that keeps me safe and dry. Why this constant craving for more?
As kids my sister & I had more toys than we could ever have played with. We were blessed with games, hot rods, barbies and all the play-doh, crayons and bubbles a kid could dream of. Yet take us to a toy store & we were bound to find that thing-a-ma-bob that we just had to have otherwise we would be scarred for life. Sometimes we ended up getting it then, the next birthday or holiday. Sometimes we never got that thing. Funny thing is, I can’t recall a single thing I didn’t get that I thought I had to have. I lived on.
Yet even as an adult I feel these urges to have this or that. To have the kitchen table with matching chairs. Even though I am alone in this house and what I have is enough. We always want more.
I remember my sister & I would play a game with the catalogs & sales ads that would start to arrive this time of year. We would go through page by page & each pick one thing on each page that we would “get”. We couldn’t pick the same thing. The person who picked first on one page would be the second to pick on the next page.
Do we ever find that place were we just are happy with the people and things we have in our lives? or is it a constant search of the next best thing? Maybe the key is to stop searching & looking at what can be and focus more on what is – right now.
That & to be sure to do what we can to help others…
and give ourselves a bit of TLC!
Well and read actual books instead of just catalogs!