I got older.
Yet feel no different than before. Why is age such a big thing, yet doesn’t feel so much so?
Maybe because the weight of it all would crush us completely if it didn’t trickle in like sand slipping through the hourglass small bits at a time.
Still birthday seem to mean something completely different as adults.
I’ve been through the kid birthdays where every year you have the one chance to make a wish for some thing that typically you had no chance to get outside of begging Santa to bring it. The annual getting together of your friends to do something you want to do. The balloons, the cake, the plates all in a design to make you alone smile.
Then the BIG DEAL birthdays came. Now you are a TEEN officially. Whatever that meant. Certainly carried some weight. The one that let you drive all on your own legally! The next one that said you can vote, smoke & do all kinds of things on your own. Still no booze. Til that one golden birthday! The 21st celebration! And the horrible morning after.
Birthdays promised to be a blast from there on.
That is until you realized there is a limited number and you have no idea exactly how many you have to celebrate.
Maybe it was 25 or the Quarter of the Century or even the 30th that hit home. Sooner or later you have the one that isn’t all happy happy joy joy but some what somber and dreaded.
Then you get past it & realize you feel the same. Life is going on. You have two choices – mope or enjoy every moment you can. May you always pick the later.
I’m no expert but the next few seem to be like annual internal life report cards.
Am I officially a full fledged grown up?
Is my body betraying me? Is that a gray hair? Where did that line come from? Stress or something worse…. a wrinkle? Why the heck is there hair there? I didn’t work out that hard, why is that aching? Should I worry about what I’m eating more than I am? What age do you begin to crave prunes?
Should I be more settled in life? Bigger salary? More savings? Better relationships? Is it too late to do all those things I wanted to do? Should I settle for less than what I want?
We get the reality of time has passed & life is what it is still. We can love our place one day only to think we should be something else a moment later.
So blow out the candles. Make the wishes.
THEN MAKE THE CHANGES!
Nothing change without action. Sometimes it all happens gradually like the slowing down of the metabolism or suddenly like the injury that leaves your body reshaped. Everything happens in reaction to an action.
Sometimes we have a choice in the actions.
So now what actions to take?
What wishes to make come true?
And why does it feel different to think that numerically I now have to say I’m another age, yet still don’t even feel like I was the age I was a few days ago?