Never know where each day is going to take me!
Today it was a time to reflect on where I’ve been & be grateful for all I have achieved. One of the interviews I had today was someone who came in with a brace… very similar to one I sported a while back!
Only this person’s was in camo instead of the blue.
We discussed the physical therapy treatments we both had done and that we shared a great physical therapist. So strange to see someone dealing with the struggle I knew so well. Served as a reminder that even if I feel at times I have more on my plate than I can deal with, at least I am not currently going through that. I no longer schedule physical therapy sessions 3 times a week and wonder if additional surgery is in the works. Still do exercises to strengthen the tendon & try to increase or maintain the range of motion, but I don’t feel like the tone of the day is set by the numbers gained or lost. Now it seems, it is what it is.
The fight has changed to acceptance.
Sure it still hurts & I hate it when people look at it strange. I wish like crazy it would just go back to looking normal or even that I might be able to wear a regular sized ring on that finger. All in all I deal. I rest it when it is painful. Take meds to help when it really gets on my nerves and just let it be what it is. Someone is not going to care one day & those that stare are just trying to figure it out and wonder how it got that way. Can’t really blame them. No ill intentions and no need to get upset.
But looking for a job, trying to pay for medical bills and heal? Way more than I would want to deal with. I can’t imagine finding & learning a new job at the same time as learning to use my hand again. More power to the person I interviewed today!
Its part of my life story now.
Some people get tattoos to express their style. Others like me have scars to remind us of who we are and all we have been through.
(actually WAY more expensive than any tattoo by the best of artist!)
Sometimes the memories creep up. I also checked a list of accounts that I haven’t exactly been keeping as close a watch on as I used to. (HOW on earth did my 401k shrink so much in several months!?!?! Come on! Guess I should have taken it out. Here’s hoping for the rebound soon!)
The good news was that my over all debt is down more than I realized. Focusing on the trees you lose sight of the forest as they say. This little reminder I needed just then because I have a co-worker who has found some amazing deals lately & keeps urging me to go shopping here & there. So far I have been strong & am paying off instead of purchasing, but its hard! I want new stuff. 😦 Especially with the change in season. Tempted to justify a few new things for work or a birthday or whatever the reason de jour.
But virtually… I could spend a million!
Like new shoes.
But nothing feels better than paying the bills.