September 10

Today it hasn’t quite been a decade.

Today 10 years ago, it never happened & we could never imagine something like that ever could.

Today all those years ago we went on with our lives a bit more innocent and trusting that all would be ok.

Then the unthinkable occurred.

They stood no more.

…and none of us were ever the same.

the fear and longing to understand why still lives on

yet answers will never come.

We as a nation seem to have come together and drifted apart again as time passes.  The connections and the value of each other were emphasized that day and we now have so many more ways to reach out to each other, yet still stand alone so many times.   No matter what lives we lead, we all have our “where were you story” to share.  Its a ribbon that connects us.  A collective scar our time on earth shares.  The skin has grown back tougher, but the wound is still very visible.

But we go on.

Those that survived keep breathing and flipping the pages of the calenders.

We do what we can to honor and to live.

A news story this morning was on when I woke that showed a gathering of children who were born on September 11th, 2001.  I was shocked at the size of them! How can it really have been THAT long?  Then I thought, they will never know what a birthday can really be like.  Always THEIR big day has this dark cloud lingering for so many.  They live as a reminder in some ways.  What must that feel like? So apply for your license, or register for something or whatever simple task where they ask for your birthday & when you write your date – someone stiffens in remembrance.   Hoping its not like that for them.

But I know for me, I never want to plan anything on THAT DAY.  Hate even saying the date.  When the National Football League released this year’s schedule, I was excited to check to see what the 1st official season game would be for the Panthers.  Then my stomach dropped when I read, September 11th.  “Why? What idiot didn’t see that wasn’t a good time? No one is going to feel like celebration and football, their minds are going to be remembering and mourning.”

My Dad’s birthday is today & even last night driving home, I fought tears listening to seemingly every radio station talking up events or playing sound bites or discussing what it all means & the security threat that was intercepted.  Finally I just caved and listed to a sonic memorial that played clips from new stories and recordings from the World Trade Center.  Not from that day entirely, but interviews with the construction tour guides and the person who designed the buildings.  The sound of the recording that played in the elevator.  Memories from people who worked and visited the buildings.  Things that will never be again.

But they were.

And if we all hide away in fear and never let anything go, we would miss them.  Truth is we are resiliant and we do have to move on in living.  We have to celebrate the moments that are not just treasure the memories or we all fell to our deaths that day.

So today, I have cake.  I will sign a card and sing the song.  I will celebrate the father I am lucky enough to still have and try my best to bite my tongue when he says things that I don’t agree with.

I will live.

and if I am lucky, I will look back in another decade and perhaps breath a bit easier realizing that it DOES go on.

Hugs, hope & light to all who were and are lost in the events of that fateful day.


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