Tonight I think I crashed.
Just like at the office today, I accidentally hit the “red button” on the power strip & OFF went the computer. Causing me to stop what I was doing & wait til the system powered back up. A few hours later another unscheduled delay when outlook crashed for the whole office for the rest of the day. Complete shutdown & oh shit mode.
Back home, showered off the stress of work & lounging around the house I found myself updating my dating profile and going through the messages. Nothing worth reading, but I did. Pages and pages of guys, yet nothing peaked my interest. I critiqued phrases and laughed at the spelling errors. My heart just wasn’t into finding Mr Right, right now. I’m really not interested in meeting the guys I have nothing seeming in common with. But still I looked and hoped my mind might open up.
Dinner… shared with Baxter & the birds…. a few last minute edits on the book before print & on to planning the budget for next month. Fingers crossed I can afford to get the hair done before I shave the dome and invest in some cheap wigs to not have to deal with these bangs growing out. Also trying to save some cash and maybe even afford a class that starts next week as long as there are enough people signed up to have it.
Round up the night with the house search. More potentials with no real za za zu. The listings rolled on and I kept looking wondering when I would feel something for one of the places.
Then it hit me how much it feels like I am stuck searching for my future on the internet.
I need to unplug.
Spend some time just being. Hanging with the crew in my life now. Even if its not quite what I am wanting, its here. Maybe one day I will miss these moments. No sense skipping over them now in the hopes for something better.