Although it could be a lot worse, today has not been my most favorite day ever. BUT in the optimistic spirit I decided to end it focusing on a few things I am loving at the moment.
A bit of virtual retail therapy if you will since I will not be spending much cash anytime soon it seems. Not sure how the interview went today… I might be ok with not getting it, but I think it would be very interesting if I did & frankly the two owners I interviewed with seem like people I could certainly spend time with each day & enjoy my life. Loved them & the environment. Still I know I was not on my A game since I had a headache & was feeling exhausted from a crazy night & all too early unnatural wake up call. Even felt a panic attack starting at one point although I had popped my klonapin prior. Sometimes it just creeps in.
I let go of the big box job. Sincerely thanked them & hoping they find someone who will love working there. Still the 3 am shifts once a week would not do much to help me regulate the insomnia! My heart wasn’t in it. Sure its a paycheck, but how fair would it be to go work without giving it my all? I do not need to dread going to work.
Does stink that I got emotional today thinking about how things are at the moment. Miss the comfort of being in a relationship & feeling supported emotionally. My family is there, but lets face it – we think opposite most of the time. Miss the security of knowing what my bank accounts are going to be looking like. Also still struggling with what I am doing with my life. Shouldn’t I know what I want to do by now? Ug… all an experience & chance to grow I guess.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Til then…. I love these….