Yesterday was pretty rough. Ended up not getting the money from my uncle’s car after all and frankly my savings is running light. I may end up cashing out my 401k (not that there is a lot there, but its a rainy day). To save money I have been skipping days on my medication. I thought it was every other day, but realized yesterday I don’t think I have taken one in a while. Emotionally I could tell all weekend & the last of last week, but yesterday the physical pain added to it. Also yesterday I didn’t self medicate with booze. So the headache, the muscle pain …the wanting to simultaneously vomit & devour a box of honey buns… I couldn’t take it anymore. I caved & popped the pills. Hopefully my insurance will actually cover some of the cost as of the 16th so I just need to get another bottle then.
But I’m frustrated. Frustrated with everything costing money & the money not being there when I need it. Frustrated with people in general in my life & not feeling like anyone really gets me. Frustrated with not being able to find a way to make money that can both sustain my life and energize my soul. I’m just wondering why on earth its all so hard?
So I just have to get by another day. That’s the goal…keep breathing & hope that the answers come soon.
Til then I am going to snuggle the pug, listen to the thunder and dream my life is different than the reality for now….
So today, I will just try to enjoy the comfort of my couch & make a few wishes. Tomorrow things will get better…