this is one of those nights.
One of those nights where I feel things are completely out of control.
Missing a steady income (& all the freedoms it brings)… Missing my old relationships (I love my girls, but living so far apart we lose touch)… & I miss loving someone.
Its been far too long since I have had an actual relationship. One where we both cared enough to want to be around each other on a regular basis. Not just a back up friendship. I miss being loved.
At times it feels I am trapped. Waiting for my life to start yet aging out while I wait.
Wondering what to do as I wait…. trying not to lose hope.
Maybe its the stormy night. Or the bills that are coming.. or the lack of real purpose to my days lately. Who knows. Guessing its back to the happy pills & off to bed for me for the night.
Who knows what tomorrow brings other than another 24 hours.